Humans say I’m crazy.

I don’t walk on a leash.  (I can, just prefer not to.) I often eat at the dinner table.  (Food tastes better that way.) I surf.  (Not that I enjoy it, but mom loves the ocean and I’ll do anything for her!) I skateboard.  (Not as well as Tillman, but the b!tches dig it.) I play the piano.  (Terribly!) I paint, amazingly well.  (Just ask my friend, Wendy Diamond ;) I cherish being naked.  And wearing ties.  I don’t “yap” and can’t understand why humans are fascinated by that.  I DO cry.  Often.  And speak.  And growl.  And sneeze, on command.

The only time you’ll find me in a purse, is when I’m sneaking into a restaurant that doesn’t offer outdoor seating.  (Mom wouldn’t dare leave me in the car.) I proudly sneak onto planes, because mom and I can’t justify paying $75 for the “privilege” of being shoved under a seat, while a baby cries the entire flight in their human’s comfty lap, for free, across the row.

I will continue to fight the system, until the airline industry wakes up.  If anyone reading this knows Richard Branson… please, have his people call my people.  If one airline industry CEO only realized… with the amount of dog lovers in the world, they could save their failing companies, if perhaps they offered alternative ways for animals to fly comfortably and safely.  I shouldn’t admit all of the above, since I’m “famous” now… but so what?!  I consider myself a well-balanced man, and the most powerful humans in history challenge the status quo.